Update

Hello! Just thought I should give an update and let everyone who reads my blog know that I'm still alive and kickin'. I've had a really bad cold so I haven't been feeling good at all. Just what I need on top of all the chemo side effects! I worked today and yesterday, but by the time I get home I'm totally wiped out. As soon as I get home I fall asleep. Today was a short nap...only about 2 1/2 hours. ;) One of the things I'm looking forward to most is getting my energy back!

My hair is still falling out. Today has been a very bad hair day. I don't know how much longer I can handle it! I wasn't going to shave it because so many people have told me that it's more likely to grow back the way it was if you just let it fall out, but it's everywhere and it's driving me crazy. Especially when it gets down my shirt! I think we might shave it after dinner tonight. I would let it just do it's thing, but since I still have more chemo, I'm pretty sure it's just going to continue to fall out. Awesome.

Alright, that's all I have to say. I've been reading other blogs of people who have cancer and after reading them I feel selfish making a big deal out of this. My story is nothing compared to some of the others I've read.

Happy Birthday, Dad!!

Just a quick post to wish my dad a happy birthday! Dad, thank you for being so supportive and such a wonderful dad. You're the best! We wish you didn't have to spend your big day in Amsterdam, but at least you'll be back home tomorrow! We love you!

Happy Friday!

Although I haven't been feeling the greatest, the weeks are still flying by. How can it possibly be the end of April!? Usually I wish that time would slow down, but I am SO happy that it's going so fast right now. My last treatment is on May 7th! That's so close! My chemo has been brutal, but I'm so glad that I'll be done soon...I can't imagine having to go through this a day longer than I have to!

I worked five hours today! Not a full day, but a big accomplishment for me. As soon as I got home I passed out though...I just woke up! I felt pretty good all morning except for one little sick episode. I didn't actually get sick, I just thought I was. These moments happen so fast and it's almost like they paralyze me. I can't talk, can't move....and if I think about the wrong thing, I actually do get sick. It's torture! Luckily Leona was going to the store and stopped by to see if I needed anything and I asked her to get me a diet 7-up. I think that helped, but it took awhile.

I have to go to urgent care tonight at 6:30. My ears hurt so bad. I thought maybe it was another nasty side effect, but the nurses in Portland didn't seem to think so. Hopefully I don't have ear infections...or strep throat. My throat hurts, too. Please let it just be allergies!

Hope everyone has a good weekend! It's supposed to be sunny and warm tomorrow in Longview! Hopefully the sun comes through for us. We deserve it!

It's still falling out...

Morning! I thought cutting my hair super short would make it seem like it was falling out at a slower rate. Not the case! It's still falling out very fast. Just touching it makes it fall out. I guess this butch cut will only be temporary after all. Looks like I'll be going completely bald!

I'm going to work this morning. I'm going to wear my hat. It screams out that I have cancer, but oh-well. I do have cancer, so why should I hide from it? And besides, my head is freezing! I didn't realize how much warmth all that hair I had provided!

We'll see how long I'm able to make it this morning. I slept all night, but I'm not feeling good. Joe is making breakfast and I can barley stand the smell of it. I can't eat this morning and I feel nauseous after taking my anti-nausea medicine. My ears and throat are hurting pretty badly this morning, too. Hopefully that's just allergies. Having a sore throat and no appetite make it even harder to eat though!

I made it to cancer class last night. I wasn't able to make it to last weeks class, so I was glad I was able to go, especially since it was the last class. Last night was survivor night. People that have gone through chemo/radiation and are back to normal came to talk about their experience. It's amazing how differently people react to chemo. One guy said he only got nauseous three times....and he ate enough for three people. He said he was constantly stuffing his face. Then another lady said that the was the exact opposite. She couldn't eat, she was exhausted...that's definitely how I'm feeling. The cancer class teacher said that younger people tend to have harsher reactions to chemo. It seems like it would be the exact opposite! She also said that the treatment I'm getting is very strong stuff, so my symptoms are worse.

Ok, here's the picture...

Ok, my mom wanted me to put a picture up so here goes. Hopefully you aren't as scared as I was when I saw it! The blob on my lap was Allie. She didn't want to show her face.

It's gone!

Well, my hair is gone. Actually, it's not totally gone, I just look like a guy. Seriously, I feel like my hair is just about as short as Joe's! I went to get it washed this morning at PALS, but we decided it would be best to just cut it super short since so much of it was falling out. So here I am, looking like a guy. When I look at myself I just laugh. Crying wont do much good, so I might as well laugh about it.

I'm not quite brave enough to show a picture yet...it's still pretty shocking, but perhaps I'll get the courage to do it later today or tomorrow. We'll see.

I've been feeling pretty crappy today. I've been staying on top of my anti-nausea medicines, but I still feel that feeling like at any moment I might throw up. And I'm absolutely exhausted. Even though I slept 10+ hours last night. Have I mentioned how excited I am for this to be over with?!

Thanks to Alan, Brenda and Jeannie at PALS for the complimentary butch cut. :) And again, to everyone else, thanks for the continued support, prayers, e-mails, cards (nothing like getting REAL mail!), flowers, food, and everything else. I'm just so amazed by all of it. I've written more thank you notes than I can even count! The other day Joe stopped me and said, "You don't need to send thank you notes to people who send cards, Katie." So I haven't been doing that...but please know that it means the world to me!

Bye bye hair

Ok, this is getting to be ridiculous. If I even just run my fingers through my hair I come out with huge clumps. However, because I have sooo much hair, you still can't even tell. It's amazing. You should see all the hair we've had to sweep/roll/vacuum up! It's disgusting! But like Joe says, at least we know the chemo is working!

Anyway, I'm to the point where I can't wash and dry it by myself, so I'm going into PALS tomorrow to get it done. I'll let her determine whether it's worth saving. I have a feeling as soon as the heat from the blow dryer hits it, it will be gone. We shall see. I better enjoy my potentially last night with hair! I just have to remember not to touch it. And I have to stay away from food...it gets into everything. I already don't have an appetite, having a mouth full of hair in my food doesn't help! I might as well just do the damn thing and have her shave it. It just seems so cold! And I don't think it will grow back very fast. What if I have to wear a wig to my
wedding?! :(

As I write this, other than feeling totally exhausted and nauseous, I'm feeling OK. I slept a lot today. I went to bed at 10, woke up briefly at 8 to take some meds, slept till 11 then slept all the way to Portland. And yet I'm still exhausted. I can't wait to have energy back again! We had to go down to Portland to get my white blood cell booster shot, so hopefully that works. I can't imagine getting sick on top of all the chemo side effects! I haven't been able to eat much today. Just a small cup of soup. I think for dinner I'll have a junior frosty from Wendy's. That's the only thing that sounds good. Healthy, huh?! Oh well, at least it has lots of sugar, fat and calories. Haha, exactly what I don't need!