I know she'll never read this...being that she doesn't have a computer and probably doesn't even know what the Internet really is...but she still deserves a shout out for her birthday! She is the best grandma ever! Whether she's making dinner for Joe and I so we don't have to worry about it, or getting prayer chains started at her church, she's always there for me when I need her the most.
Today is on the "worst days" list. Like I said before, I've remained strong throughout all of this, but I just feel like I can't take it anymore. I've only cried three times since my first appointment with Dr. Conrad. The first was the day of my diagnosis. After we left, my sister called Shirley to tell her what we found out and had to give the phone to my dad because she started crying. The two of us sat in the back of the Sequoia and cried and cried. The second time I cried was last night at the cancer class. We had to go around and introduce ourselves. I was the youngest person there by about 20+ years, and when it was my turn I said, "I'm Katie, I'm 24 and was diagnosed with lymphoma about 2 1/2 weeks ago." I wanted to say more, but I couldn't. I think that was the first time I've ever said that out loud, and it really hit me hard. This is real! And I can't help to think that it's just so unfair that I'm going through this at such a young age. A lady came and talked to me and said she's ok with it because she's lived a long, happy life. My life has been happy, but definitely not long enough! The third time I've cried is now, as I write this entry. I'm scheduled to go for my PET Scan, a test that costs $5,000 tomorrow. I know it costs that much because at around 4:30, I got a call from the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance saying that my insurance had denied the request for the test and in order to have it, I need to bring a deposit for the $5,000 charge. Excuse me? This has been set up since Tuesday and the insurance company decides 1/2 hour before closing that they can't let me go? It's disgusting! Every doctor I've spoken to says I have to have the scan before I can begin treatment and the insurance company is denying me? It's crazy.
All afternoon was spent on the phone with the insurance company and people in Seattle. I just got a call at around 6 from my care coordinator up there saying that she's 99.99% sure Health Net will take care of it. She had to call and talk to the director and have him reverse it. If this was the first insurance battle, it wouldn't be that bad, but I've been dealing with them from day one. I think the stress of that is enough to make me even more sick!
I have to eat a no-carb dinner tonight to prepare for the scan tomorrow, so Joe is making us Mahi Mahi and sugar-free raspberry jello. Yummm. I have to fast for 12 hours and my test will begin at 9:30 tomorrow. I have to be hooked up to the IV for about 2 hours and on the table for about 42 minutes. I will be injected with RADIOACTIVE SUGAR. How cool is that?! Please pray that the scan comes back free and clear of cancer!!!
Love, Katie
P.S. The IVF stuff is going great!! I had another internal ultrasound today and I have lots of eggs. I've been getting shots twice a day. Joe and I both had to go down today for tests. Everything is progressing just like they need it to. Egg retrieval will be either next Friday or Saturday. We're going to have little frozen embryos!! I think that should count as the first unofficial grandchildren. :)
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