I had to stay home from work today because I wore my only green shirt to the JH Kelly party Friday! Hahaha, just kidding. I wish that was the case! I'm at home today because I can't move. I am in so much pain, I can hardly stand it. I was really bad yesterday too, but I thought I would wake up better. No such luck. I am getting so frustrated/angry about this. I have a huge supply of drugs including oxycontin and hyrdrocodone and it's still not helping. Today it's not even taking the edge off. I kept waking myself (and Joe) up last night crying because I was in so much pain. Dr. Bartlett told my dad that the pain I have is very similar to having a broken bone! I don't know how much longer I can take it! I hope my period comes today or tomorrow so I can get on with this. If it comes today, I'll be able to start chemo in about 13 days. I can't wait! I'm sure that sounds crazy, but I've been dealing with this pain for almost 3 months now. Dr. Petersdorf said that after I start chemo, the pain will start to go away. Chemo will probably be a piece of cake compared to what I've been going through! I just don't understand why I'm hurting so bad. I've been in pain the entire time, but nothing this bad. Is it spreading? What's going on? It's so scary.
Joe got home at around 8 last night. He went skiing at Crystal for the weekend. When I tell people this they make a funny face like they can't believe he'd leave me alone for the weekend. Just so everyone doesn't think he's a horrible boyfriend, I wanted him to go! Everyone needs a break (including me!) and he's had this trip planned for a long time. It makes me sad when he's just sitting around taking care of me. I feel more normal when he goes and has fun! And besides, it gave me the opportunity to go wig shopping with my mom and sister on Saturday! :)
Hope everyone had a good weekend! Please pray (or whatever you do!) that my pain will go away and I can make it back to work tomorrow and be able to wait 12 days to go through IVF before starting treatment! At this point, I don't think I can.
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