Goodbye 2008

That picture pretty much sums up 2008. It was a total roller coaster! What started out as the worst year of my life has ended up being the best. Sophie Marie is here with us---and I am totally in love/obsessed/can't stand to be away from her---and Joe proposed. I couldn't be happier!

Although the last 3 months of 2008 was great, I'm really excited to say goodbye to 2008. And I don't think I'm the only one who feels that way!

Here's to a wonderful 2009! Happy New Year!

Christmas #1

Joe got me new skis for Christmas! They are K2 Burnin' Luv's and they are AMAZING! I tested them out yesterday at Cyrstal. Yesterday was the first time I've been able to ski in a long time .Last year at this time I could hardly walk, let alone ski. It felt so good to be back up on the mountain! I was a little worried about my leg being weak, but it did just fine. I did get tired a lot faster than usual though. At one point I stopped to talk to Joe and I just fell down! My right leg is definitely weak. Hopefully skiing will help it get strong fast!

The weather at Crystal was perfect! Clear sky for the first part of the day with the perfect (in my opinion) amount of powder. I must admit I feel like I've been hit by a truck today though! I am SO sore! It feels good though.......I guess. That's what I'll keep telling myself! I got Joe a weekend ski trip to Bend and Mt. Bachelor for one of his presents, so I'm excited for that! I can hardly keep up with Joe anymore, but luckily he's patient and puts up me. :) Joe's mom and dad got me a Bose Wave Radio for Christmas. I'm so excited to get home and get it set-up! I've wanted one for so long and was totally surprised to get it.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! It's hard to believe it's already over---it came and went too fast. :( Joe and I ended up spending Christmas with his family this year since my sister was still in the hospital. It's was hard to be away from my family on Christmas, but it was easier knowing I wasn't missing out on anything. We decided to celebrate on New Year's Day instead so I'm looking forward to that.

We're leaving for home tonight. I'm so excited to get home and down to Vancouver to see Sophie!

Sophie Marie DeCarlo

I'm in love! Sophie Marie DeCarlo was born this morning at 1:53 AM. 6lbs 4oz---and a full head of black wavy hair! She's so precious! Congratulations to my sister and George. They are going to be amazing parents! I love you Sophie Marie!

More snow pics!

Ahhh...I'm so glad I'm an indoor kitty!

Joe went skiing at Crystal and all he brought me was this picture...
I don't think our house has ever seen this much snow!

Poor plants!

Where's the patio?!

Arctic Blast '08 killed our plant... :(

Arctic Blast '08!

It hasn't stopped snowing here all day! I'm up at my mom and dad's house waiting for Joe to get back to town. Last time he called he was in Chehalis and only going about 30 MPH so it might be awhile before he gets here! I went out to my car to leave so I'd be home when he got there, but I forgot that I'd have to get all the snow off of my car first. I get to park in the garage at home so I'm spoiled! I think I'll just have him come up here when he gets to town--and let him get all the snow off!

I can't remember the last time it snowed like this. I don't even think it snowed this much when I lived in Pullman! My mom and dad probably almost have 10 inches---Joe and I probably have about 6. I love it!

Happy 37th!

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad! Thanks for showing us how it's done and being such wonderful parents!!

We (mom, dad, Kim, George, Joe and I) usually all celebrate with mom and dad on their anniversary, but due to the crazy weather and Kim being on bed rest, this year was pretty low-key! I was able to get up their hill and have dinner with them tonight though. We'll just have to have a belated celebration when the roads are clear and there are 7 of us instead of 6!

Joe left tonight for Edgewood. I think he's crazy! He left our house at 4ish and he was just getting onto 512 at around 8:30. I didn't think it was worth going, but he didn't seem to think the freeway would be too bad. Right! I think he was just trying to convince himself it wouldn't be bad because he's so excited to go skiing at Crystal tomorrow with his cousin! Hopefully the roads to Crystal are clear.....I'm so worried about him! He started his "Christmas Vacation" today. He got off around 3 and he doesn't have to work again until the 28th!

No new Good Morning America updates. If the weather continues like this though, I know it wont be on. It may be on everywhere else in the country, but not here. It's the "Arctic Blast" breaking news 24/7!

Hope everyone is enjoying the snow!

Another false alarm!

Sorry to anyone who got up at the crack of dawn on this snowy Sunday morning to watch me on GMA! You know how it is when it snows in the Pacific Northwest---it's always breaking news! ABC was coverage about the big snow storm. Shouldn't we all know how to deal with snow?! We live in WASHINGTON!!

Anyway, it wasn't on here---I thought it just wasn't on because of the "breaking news" on KATU, but I just got an email from Nicole (the producer):

Our MRI story got replaced overnight by a weather report from New Hampshire. Apologies. This is the sort of thing that happens with news programs, not out of the ordinary. I will update everyone with a new airdate as soon as I can. Have a nice weekend.

A couple of people told my mom they saw the preview for the story on KOMO. It was just a description of the story and a picture of me. Weird!

I really did get interviewed! I promise!

It's snowing as I write this and it's gorgeous! The high tomorrow is only supposed to be 21! I love it!

Hope everyone has a good Sunday!

Another GMA Update

False alarm! I just found out it won't be on until Sunday morning. The producer said she'll give me another update tomorrow as to what part of the show it will be on. Reset your TiVo's!

Cancer-free!!

I had my 6-month check-up appointment with Dr. Nichols yesterday and he said everything looks "perfect." The best Christmas present ever! He wasn't sure about me skiing this year though so he emailed Dr. Heydon, the bone doctor at OHSU, to see what he thinks. It will be a big bummer if he says no skiing. Especially because (I think) Santa Joe bought me brand new skis for Christmas! :(

I'll see him again March 12. I'll be on a 3-month schedule for another 6 months or so and then I'll be every 4 months for a year, then 2 times a year until 5 years. I guess after that I'm considered cured!

Just wanted to share the exciting news! I'm still scheduled to be on GMA tomorrow morning as of now---I'll post again if it changes.

Happy Friday!

A wonderful day!

Joe and I went Christmas shopping together today! He had the day off so we took off for Portland as soon as I got off at 12. It was a perfect day for shopping. Not too crowded, good weather and successful shopping! We started out at Bridgeport Village then to NW 23rd and a quick stop at REI before heading home. It's so nice to be able to shop without having to go to the mall! I hate malls! Shopping today definitely got me into the Christmas spirit a little bit more. We had a blast! And it feels so good to finally have presents to wrap---I've been procrastinating so much this year! It's like I keep forgetting Christmas is just two weeks from tomorrow. It's happened so fast this year!

Anyway, the real reason for this post is to let everyone know that as of now, my story is scheduled to air on Good Morning America on Saturday. I'll post again if anything changes between now and then!

Hope everyone is having a good week. Think snow in Washington!! WE WANT TO GO SKIING!!!

P.S. No baby yet!

P.P.S. I have my 6-month appointment with Dr. Nichols tomorrow so keep your fingers crossed for me! Cancer-free is the way to be!

Baby DeCarlo

Baby DeCarlo might be here sooner than planned! My sisters due date isn't until January 15th, but she went into pre-term labor on Wednesday. She had to stay in the hospital while they gave her all kinds of stuff to try to stop it, but the doctor thinks it will happen before January. Maybe even before Christmas! My sister is home now but on bed rest. Everytime the phone rings I think it's happening. My bag is packed and I'm ready to go to Vancouver whenever we get the call. I'm so excited to be an auntie!!

By the way, still no word as to when I'll be on GMA. OJ was the breaking news this weekend. It might be months before my story airs! It's just a filler story. I'll be sure to let everyone know when I get a date though!

Subie's newest obsession....

He's obsessed with the tree again this year! We thought maybe it was just a kitten fad last year, but he's back at it again. If anyone knows how to keep cats out of trees, let me know! He climbed it last year and was able to sleep in it. However, last year he was also only 5 pounds. I'm pretty sure his manly 13 pound figure might bring the tree down this year if he attempts that again! :)

Another GMA update...

Just got this email from the producer....

"As of this afternoon, it now looks like our MRI story is on HOLD for now. Too much other news filling up the show. As soon as I hear of our new airdate, I will let everyone know. Thanks for your patience."

Looks like we all get to sleep in tomorrow morning! I'll keep everyone posted!

GMA Update

Hey everyone! Just wanted to let you all know that as of now, it's scheduled to be on Good Morning America Sunday morning. The producer said there will be a longer write-thru on the GMA website in the morning as well. She said if for some reason it moves to tomorrow morning, she'll let me know.

I'll post again if I hear more tonight!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! I have SO much to be thankful this year! Especially now that I'm cancer-free! It's hard to believe that last Thanksgiving I had cancer but had no clue. It's amazing how fast life can change. Having cancer has definitely taught me to appreciate each and every day---don't take anything for granted! It can all change so fast.

I have my next big round of check-up appointments the next couple of weeks. I'll really have a lot to be thankful for if everything comes back normal again! It's hard to believe this is my 6 month check-up already! I feel more anxious for this appointment than any in the past though. I think it's because I haven't been under constant watch. Hhas the tumor come back? Has it spread somewhere else? Every little ache I have in my leg makes me nervous. I guess those feelings will always be with me. Or anyone who has had cancer for that matter.

I found out today that a girl that was in my sorority has Hodgkins Lymphoma type 2a. I feel devastated about it! Maybe it was living in Pullman for 4 years? Or Alpha Chi Omega?! I know that's not it, but I was sick more than I ever have been when I was there. Mono, kidney infection....not the healthiest environment to live in!

Ok, better go finish getting ready. We're going up to my mom and dad's at 12 and then we'll leave for Joe's parents tomorrow morning. I love the holidays! If only it would snow so we could go skiing-----then we'd REALLY have lots to be thankful for!!

A day in the life of Subie...

He has it pretty rough!

GMA Update

Hello! Just wanted to let everyone know that my story wont be on Good Morning America this weekend afterall. I heard from the producer this afternoon and as of now, it's not scheduled to run until the weekend after Thanksgiving. She said she'll send out an email update again on the 28th, so I'll let everyone know more next week.

I really can't believe Thanksgiving is a week from tomorrow. It makes me sad! Why does the time have to be going so fast? I feel like I'm in a time warp or something. I have to keep reminding myself that next week is really Thanksgiving. And the end of yet another month! We'll be at my parents on Thanksgiving and then we'll go up to Joe's parents on Friday. We've done it this way for the past 3 years and it works out great! And luckily Jayne (Joe's mom) is super accommodating and doesn't mind celebrating on Saturday instead of Thursday. We have the best of both worlds!

I found out today after talking to an insurance agent that no insurance company in Washington will give me individual coverage because I have non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Here's what she said in her "rejection email"..."Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma" is one of the conditions that will disqualify you as an applicant in the State of Washington (Not just LifeWise, the entire state uses the same health questionnaire for every individual insurance carrier). I am sorry to have to say this!" Awesome. And COBRA is a great option and I'm thankful I can opt to do it, but $400 a month is a big chunk of change when I'm only working 20 hours a week. What are people supposed to do? It's not like I decided to get cancer!

Alright, time to go watch some Jon & Katie Plus 8....hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Good Morning America

Good Morning America ended up interviewing me!! I ended up getting a call from the producer on Saturday telling me their flight would land in Portland at 9:15 am Monday morning. I knew there was no backing out then!

The camera crew showed up a lot earlier than the Good Morning America girls. They totally transformed our house and made it look like a TV studio. Huge lights everywhere, cameras---they even had to put stuff on the outside windows to get the lighting right! I have never seen so much equipment!

Correspondent Lisa Fletcher was the one to interview me. They first interviewed me in our living room. We both sat on our bar stools face-to-face. They kept telling me to "pretend the cameras aren't there." Ya right!! It was so hard! After that we moved into our dining room and I explained one of the pictures I have of my leg during my biopsy and the tumor site.

My mom came out to just watch but after she started talking, they asked her if they could interview her too. I knew that would happen! I even warned her! She tends to get pretty emotional and fired up about the whole situation, so as soon as she started talking I knew they would want her to talk! She did an awesome job though!

After all of the interviews, they wanted Joe and I to cook something. We didn't really have anything to cook, so Joe made an omelet. It was so awkward! They told us to just talk and pretend they weren't there. I started to cut something and the knife I grabbed was duller than a butter knife and the camera man was totally zoomed in on my hands! Joe was like, "Do you need a sharper knife?!" Hahahaha.....hopefully all of that gets cut. It was pretty much an all day ordeal, but they said the clip will only be about 3-4 minutes.

After everyone left, I had to go to Peace Health and get my original MRI, the one that was misread. Since Dr. Nichols (my oncologist) is out of the country, they overnighted all of films to Dr. William Bradley at UCSD. Dr. Bradley is Chairman of the Department of Radiology, and a Professor of Radiology at UCSD School of Medicine. He knows his stuff!

The segment will air either on November 22 or 23. Nicole said she'll let me know next week what day for sure. I'll keep all of you posted!

I'm a little worried about giving Longview Radiology a bad reputation, but then again, they misread my MRI! Had it not been for the extreme pain I was in, I would've just assumed it was something that was going to take time to heal. And if it was totally obvious on the MRI and got overlooked, how many other people are walking around with horrible things wrong with them but are unaware because their initial MRI was read as normal? It's scary!

Alright, that's all. Just had to share the news! It all seems surreal. When they left I looked at Joe and said, "Did that really just happen?!" Definitely a once in a lifetime thing.

Hope everyone is having a good week!

Even though we all know that Obama will be the 44th President, I'm still addicted to all of the election coverage! I think it's all so fascinating! When I was a little girl I remember going to events where my dad would get up and talk and feeling so proud and excited....I can't imagine how Obama's little girls must be feeling now! I still get that excited/proud feeling---even if it's just him thanking everyone coming to the CAS party! I used to dream of my dad running for president (hahaha) and moving to the White House. In fact, I remember having dinner at Judy's one night and telling him he should run. I was convinced that he'd win because all of his employees would vote for him! Oh to be young and naive! I also felt like crying listening to McCain's speech last night. What a let down after all the hard work of campaigning!

Everyone is waking up excited for all of the changes promised to happen, but the thing that scares me is that everyone usually has an extremely hard time with change. It will be an interesting 4 years!

I had an email from one of my friends this morning.....I don't think she's happy.....

HOOORAY FOR SOCIALISM!!!!!!!
and NO MORE CHECKS AND BALANCES
and THE ELIMINATION OUR 2ND AMENDMENT RIGHT TO BARE ARMS
and "SPREADING THE WEALTH" BY HEAVILY TAXING SMART, EDUCATED AMERICANS WHO WORK DAMN HARD AND GIVING IT TO PEOPLE ON WELFARE, NOT EVEN MIDDLE CLASS WORKING AMERICANS
and PROPOSING A 986 MILLION TAX ON THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES IN ORDER TO END POVERTY IN OTHER COUNTRIES, NOT OUR OWN FIRST

Celebrating the Mommy-to-Be...

She really is pregnant, I promise!

Just a couple pictures from the baby shower. It was so much fun! Everything turned out perfectly! Now we just have to wait for the baby---it's going to be the longest two months ever! Thanks to everyone (especially all of you that drove hours to be there!) for making it such a special day for my sister!

Good Morning America!

First off, Happy Halloween!! I'm pretty anti-Halloween this year. Mainly because my sisters baby shower is tomorrow and we have a lot of last minute stuff to get done tonight. I can't believe tomorrow is the big day! And I really can't believe how fast her pregnancy has gone! In just a little over two months a little baby girl will be here!

Anyway, yesterday I received an email from a producer at Good Morning America. She read my story in The Daily News and wanted to talk to me more about my experience, especially dealing with a misread MRI. She's starting her research and talking to patients and doctors about this....apparently it's a bigger problem than I thought! If the pain in my leg hadn't persisted, I would've trusted what the results of my MRI said and maybe gone months--or years--with cancer! And then there were the problems getting referrals, etc. with the MRI readings being wrong. Why would the insurance company pay for me to see a specialist at the University of Washington when, according to my MRI, everything was normal!?

Needless to say, it was a pretty weird day! She asked what airport is closest to us and then said they'd be able to fly into Portland if they want to talk to me on camera. Crazy!! Even if they find better stories--which I know mine is minor compared to most--I still can't even believe I was contacted by Good Morning America!

In other news, I got my hours at work cut from 40 to 20. I've been anticipating this for months and I found out on Wednesday. I totally understand the need for cuts, the car industry has been doing horribly and dealerships are closing down everywhere, it's just the insurance I'm worried about. For me, that's more important than my paycheck right now. Joe and I are pretty sure I can get onto his insurance, we just have to sign a "domestic partners affidavit" so we need to get that figured out next week.

Anyway, it looks like Joe and I will be living on 1 1/2 incomes for awhile! I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home wife/mom, I just didn't plan on being a stay-at-home fiance. Or I guess I should say a part-time-stay-at-home-broke-fiance! :) Everything happens for a reason though......better things to come!

This is nothing compared to what I went through earlier in the year. Nothing!

Happy Thursday!

Almost through another week! I say this all of the time, but why is the time going so fast!? How can it possibly be the end of October?! Fall is my favorite time of the year (especially when we have weather like this!), so I'm sad to see it slipping away so fast. My mom always says that the older you get, the faster time goes. I don't know how that could be possible!

Anyway, life has been busy! Tonight my mom and I are going to meet with a lady in Woodland who does wedding cakes. She was recommended to us by two different people, so I'm excited to see her work! Below are some pictures of cakes that I'm going to show her. I love all of these!

2009 is going to be the best year ever....I'm going to be an aunt and I'm getting married! Total opposite of 2008!

Newspaper article

There was a feature story in The Daily News about my cancer treatment/experience today. Just in case anyone comes to my blog to find more about Fertile Hope, I want to clarify that it's not free for all cancer patients. To qualify you have to make less than $75,000/year (single) or $100,000 (married).

Also, if you're looking for Dr. Craig Nichols, he actually is at Providence in Portland, not Vancouver. And lastly, my radiation was not administired through my PICC line! :) Not sure how that got in there...

Roloff Farms

Yesterday Kim, George, Joe and I went on an adventure to Roloff Farms. This is the farm that the people on "Little People, Big World" (reality show on TLC) own. Despite waiting in a traffic jam for about an hour to get to the pumpkin patch, it was fun! Everything looked so different in person than it does on TV.

It was packed, but we found two good pumpkins and had a great day. It was gorgeous weather and it was fun spending time with Kim and George. I love everything about Fall! Especially days like yesterday! It was so gorgeous!

I also felt the baby kick for the first time yesterday! It was so amazing! Kim told me to put my hand on her tummy because she was moving and sure enough, I felt a little kick. I am so excited to be an aunt...only three months to go!

September 12, 2009

We've picked a date! September 12, 2009. It's a long way to go, but that's the month that will work best. Fall is my favorite time of year and the weather is usually always pretty nice here that time of year. Plus, it will give my hair plenty of time to grow back! And Joe will also have two full weeks of vacation so we can have a long honeymoon. :) Time goes so fast, it will be here before we know it! Especially with my sister having a baby in January!

Below are some pictures of the day Joe proposed. We were on part of the beach where not many people were, so most of the pictures are self portraits. After he asked I was so excited I ran up to a guy sitting on the beach and he turned out to be a total weirdo/druggie, but he managed to get a shot of us. I can't get a good picture of my ring....it looks like the flash is on even when I turned it off. You'll just have to see it in person. I love it!!

Future Sanderson!

For those of you who haven't heard, I'm ENGAGED! Joe proposed on Saturday while we were at the beach!!

I'll write more later and post some pictures...I just had to share!

I had my big appointment with Dr. Nichols today to get the results from the PET/CT scan I had on Monday and it didn't show a thing...I'm cancer-free!

Thanks again to all of you for your support and encouragement throughout all of this. I DID IT!

Happy Friday!

TGIF! I'm so glad it's Friday, this week has dragged on! I blame the weather! I'm so glad it's back to summer today instead of January-type weather.

I've realized that all the leg pain I've been having is from exercising. I used to run on our treadmill before all of this cancer stuff, but since my leg still isn't strong enough to run again, I've been walking as fast as I can at about an 8-10% incline. I think it's just too much impact. SO, if anyone wants a practically brand-new treadmill, I have ours for sale! We want to buy an elliptical instead. The doctor said I need to be doing no-impact exercises, so I think that would be the best thing to get. Call me if you're interested!!

Joe's going to Edgewood for the weekend. YAY! Hahahaha, just kidding. I'm just looking forward to having a girls day with my sister and mom tomorrow. Not that I couldn't do that if he wasn't going, I just don't have to feel guilty for being gone all day now! It's funny how I feel bad leaving him, but he doesn't even think twice about going mountain biking or skiing all day. Or weekend. :) So tomorrow is going to be filled with shopping, baby shower planning and other really important mother-daughter stuff. Should be fun!

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Zach & Libby

On the morning of August 9, Zach Waddle and his girlfriend Libby were hit by a drunk driver while walking. I went to school with Zach and Joe worked with Libby's sister, Emily at CAS. We found out about the horrible news on Sunday morning. Ever since, I've just felt totally heartsick. I really feel like my heart is hurting. That probably sounds weird, but it's so true. That's the best way to describe how I feel. Everytime I think about them, it's all I can do to stay composed. Zach and Libby had a little baby boy, Mason, who turns 1 next week. I can't even imagine what Zach and Libby's families are going through and what life will be like for Mason without his mom and dad. No one should have to experience anything like this. And to think it all happened because of a stupid drunk driver makes me SO mad. It's so stupid! My heart is aching for their families......how do people find the strength to overcome such a horrible tragedy?

http://masonsfuture.org/

It's a....

GIRL! I'm going to have a niece in just a few more months! Kim and George surprised us last Thursday with the news. We are all so excited! It definitely seems more real know that we know it's a "her" instead of just an "it." Let the shopping begin! :)

I had a doctors appointment with Dr. Kim on Friday. He said my leg is swollen, but he seems to think it's radiation related. Hopefully that's all it is! I've been having some pain, so it freaks me out that it's also swollen. I tell myself it's the bone trying to heal, but as the pain gets worse, I get more worried. I've also been extremely fatigued lately. More so than I ever was going through chemo/radiation. I hate it! Being tired all of the time is miserable! Especially when nothing I do helps. Usually exercising will give me energy but lately it just knocks me out even more. My last blood test showed I was slightly anemic, so maybe that's what it is? We'll see what my next blood test says. My next appointment is the big one. My first PET/CT scan. I'm dreading that more than anything right now. Not only is it extremely nerve wracking waiting for the results, having to have an IV and lay in the tube for hours isn't exactly fun. I guess I just have to face the fact that tests like this will be a part of my life from here on out!

It's been another busy weekend. Joe and I went to Portland yesterday and had dinner at The Melting Pot. It was so much fun! We got home around 10:30 and then we walked for Relay for Life from 1-3 AM this morning. It was a lot of fun! We were exhausted before we went, but when we got home we were wide awake so we were up until around 4. We walked with Jenny on Cowlitz Title's team. It's definitely something I'll do again next year! And next year I'll have hair. Yay! Speaking of hair, it's coming back fast and furious. It's super dark, super thick...I even have to use a towel to dry it off after the shower. I'm making progress!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

Dinner at The Melting Pot!

Relay for Life! At 2:00 AM...

Last night we went for dinner with my dads brothers granddaughter, Emily. She is in Longview visiting her grandma and come to find out, she was recently diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma. She's only 19! We had no idea this was going on with her because my dad's brother died a long time ago and we don't really keep in touch with them. Anyway, it was so interesting to talk to her and here her story. She had just started her freshman year of college when she was diagnosed so she had to quit. Now that treatments over, she's staring again this fall.

Anyway, we never really thought cancer ran in our family, but I'm beginning to think it does! My dads mom died of leukemia, my dads sisters grandson died of leukemia and I have non-Hodgkin's lymphoma....all blood cancers. I wonder if this all comes from my Grandma Vincent?

Graffiti

We woke up on Friday morning to this on Joe's truck:

Our entire neighborhood got spray painted. There were swastikas all over, a few other trucks spray painted....it was pretty bad. We called the sheriff and he came out, but they didn't have any idea who was doing it. Luckily the idiot decided to try to paint again last night and someone saw him and reported that he had a mohawk. Having a mohawk makes you pretty easy to spot...especially if you're the only kid in the neighborhood who has one, so the sheriff went and questioned him and he admitted to doing all of it. Thank goodness he's been caught! Hopefully he's locked up in juvi right now!

Joe got a new job!

After two years of working at CAS, Joe got a new job working in the lab at Kemira. He gave his two-week notice today and his first day at Kemira will be August 4th. We're both so excited! And that includes my parents. People have been asking if they're upset, but the answer is no. Not at all! This is a big stepping stone and will give him the experience he needs to take over as CEO for my dad in a few years. :) Just kidding....

I'm just thankful everyone is happy for him and he doesn't have to experience what I went through. But then again, my dad would never be upset about any of his employees advancing in their career even if that meant leaving the company. Anyway, YAY for JOE!

We went camping last weekend at Lake Merwin with Kim and George. It was so much fun! I love that place. It's paradise....and so close to home! Here's a picture from our campsite:
It was a nice little getaway! And tomorrow Joe and I are going camping again. This time we're going up to Alder Lake with Jenny, Casey, Aaron and Kendra. Oh, and the baby. :) I'm so excited! Yet another busy weekend. We've been busy and/or out of town every weekend this summer. Kind of ironic considering my health. Pretty good sign that I'm back to good health though!

My hair is starting to grow back like crazy! And it's coming in thicker than ever. NOT what I wanted! I was hoping it would be a little thinner this time around. I'll probably end up with it being twice as thick and even curlier. Just a few more weeks and I think I'm going to ditch the wig. Now that the hair is coming back, it's super hot. And itchy. Not fun at all!

Alright, time for bed. I'm up late tonight...I've been going to bed at 8:15-8:30ish nightly. I get mad at myself for being lazy, but then I remember all the crap I've gone through the last few months and just hit snooze and enjoy my 12 hours of nightly sleep. :)

Happy 4th!

Happy 4th of July! It feels weird saying that...how can it possibly be the 4th already!? Summer is flying by!

I had my 20th (and LAST!) radiation last Friday. It feels weird to be done. I am happy to be done, but at the same time it's really scary. I think being done has been harder on me emotionally than going through everything. When I was having treatment, I was constantly "killing" the cancer. Now it's like they've done everything they can for me and now we just have to wait for the smoke to clear and hope that there's nothing left. I had my first big check-up with Dr. Nichols on Wednesday. He seems to think everything is good, but we'll have to wait until my PET/CT scan on September 8th. It's too soon to have scans since I just finished radiation, that's why we have to wait until September.

I've been totally exhausted the past week. Dr. Nichols said that can happen after radiation....it's taken a toll on my body....but it's so frustrating! Not having energy is the worst!

Last Sunday we got up at 4:00 AM, braved the scorching heat and did the LIVESTRONG 5K at NIKE Headquarters in Beaverton. It was so much fun! I was surprised at how much fun it was actually! There were 13 people on my team. It was a pretty good feeling....especially when I walked with all of the survivors at the very end. I'm a survivor!

Hope everyone has a good 4th! We're going to the Staple's at around 1, then to Jenny and Casey's and then we're driving up to Edgewood later this evening and we'll be up there until Sunday. It's going to be another busy weekend!

I'm so glad that my blogging days have started to slow down! It means that life is good! Having a blog sure saved a lot of time repeating the same story over and over and over again though! A lot of the time I felt so horrible I wasn't even capable of even telling it once!

Joe and I had another busy weekend. It was awesome though! On Friday night I met up with some college friends at Duke's in Green Lake for dinner. It was SO good to see them! After that I drove back from Seattle to meet Joe at his parents house. We spent the rest of the weekend relaxing, biking (everyone is getting into biking now!), I went shopping, had a big fire on Saturday night and celebrated Srey's birthday. We didn't get home until around 11:30 Sunday night, so I was pretty exhausted Monday. And all weekend for the most part. I took a nap on Sunday afternoon. I get so tired sometimes I can't even function. I turn into a total zombie. I used to blame chemo, now I blame radiation.

Speaking of radiation, I'm almost done. YAY! My leg is pretty swollen right now, but the doctor doesn't seem to think it's anything to be worried about. I've been walking 3 miles a day...and biking a lot....so hopefully it's just from using it so much. It went from not moving for months to lots of sudden activity! I see Dr. Nichols (my cancer doc) next Wednesday, so hopefully he'll say it's nothing to be worried about.

It's going to be another busy weekend, but busy weekends are my favorite. I hate not having weekend plans! I always have to have things to look forward to! I blame that on my mom, because my sister is the same way! Saturday we're having a garage sale at my house. My neighborhood is having one so we decided to participate. We don't really have anything to sell though. Hahaha, we just like to sit outside and people watch. If you have anything you want to sell, bring it over on Saturday!

Sunday is the LIVESTRONG 5K in Portland. There are 13 of us doing it as of today. If you want to sign up, let me know and I'll tell you how! I didn't realize it was $50 per person. After I found that out I felt guilty asking people to sign up. So don't feel obligated! You do get a free t-shirt though! A $50 t-shirt! Actually, I know the money is going for a great cause. LIVESTRONG has helped me a lot throughout all of this, so I know it will be put to good use!

Next cancer check-up is July 2. Hopefully I only get good news!

P.S. My hair is starting to grow back a little bit! It's like this weird peach-fuzzy stuff. Looks like I'll be wearing a wig for a lot longer!

I ♥ camping!

This past weekend a group of nine of us went camping at Fort Stevens. I'd been wanting to go there for awhile, I have such great memories of camping there growing up, but since it's by reservation only, it's really hard to get in. A few weeks ago I checked to see if by chance there were some open sites and there were! So we loaded up everything on Friday after work and went. It was so much fun! I don't know what it is about camping, but I love everything about it! Joe and I roughed it and were in a tent, but that's one of the best parts!

As we were crossing the bridge on our way back into town yesterday, Louis and Ann, some of our friends from college, called and they were passing through Longview on their way home to Seattle from Cannon Beach so we got to see them. It was so good to see them! Even though we reeked like campfire and were pretty grungy looking, I'm glad we were able to meet up with them. And I got to see Ann's ring. It's gorgeous! I'm so happy for them!

As far as my health goes, I started my third week of radiation today. It's going good, except it's making me really tired. I'm usually in bed by 7:30 (tonight is a late night for me!) and it's a struggle to wake up in the morning for work. Going through chemo is starting to feel like a dream now. People ask me about it and it doesn't seem real. It feels like it was so long ago. I'm so happy that chapter of my life is over with! I think I might be starting to get sick now though. My throat is killing me and I've been coughing a lot. Hopefully it's just allergies. Or perhaps it's from being so busy over the weekend. It doesn't take much to wear me out!

Thanks again to all of you for your support. I know I've said this a million times, but it means so much! I couldn't have gotten through this without all of you!

I just had to share this picture. Subie loves to sleep with us, usually right between us. He is definitely the King of the house! And he knows it! I never thought we could love and spoil a cat so much! I didn't even really like cats until he came along!

LIVESTRONG Challenge

Hey everyone! I mentioned this before, but on June 29, I'm doing the LIVESTRONG Challenge in Portland. It's a 5K walk, run or there's also a bike ride. Since I'm still going through treatment, I'm doing the 5K walk.

I formed a team called 5K for Katie. I thought that would be easy for everyone to find on the website when registering.

To register go to this site: http://portland08.livestrong.org/faf/home/default.asp?ievent=262626&lis=1&kntae262626=A2766E1E910444E3AF545936864F5018&login=t

It's pretty self explanatory after you get to the site. After you click on join a team (unless you don't want to be on my team!), you can join an existing team and there will be a drop down and you'll see 5K for Katie near the top.

A lot of you have said you don't know if you could walk that far, but it's only 3.1 miles! And just think, since I still kinda walk with a limp, I will be walking pretty slow, so you can walk with me...it's not a race!

Let me know if you have any questions!

False alarm

After stressing all weekend that I had something else horribly wrong with me, we found out today it's nothing to be worried about. The doctor explained at my appointment that he saw an unusual looking line in my femur, so that's why I had to have more scans Friday night. They needed to see how far up it went and also compare it to the other leg. Luckily, the left leg had the same line so everything is fine....apparently it's just the way my body is. If it hadn't showed up on the left side, something would've been wrong. I was kind of upset that I had to go in for more scans without much explanation, but he said when they see something unusual, they always assume the worst. So I guess it's better to be paranoid than to just brush things off, and I'm thankful that he was looking out for me!

Today was my first radiation and everything went well. Compared to chemo, it's going to be a piece of cake! I've been having a little bit of pain in my leg, but I think it might just be from being active again. Hopefully the radiation will take the pain away though!

Alright, that's all. Just wanted to let everyone know my scan was actually fine. Thank goodness! Joe has to go back to work for an hour or so, so I'm going to bed. Nothing like crawling into bed when it's still light out. Apparently my energy is still on vacation. I'm exhausted!

Scared

Everybody please pray/cross your fingers for me. I thought we were through with all of this, but I have a bad feeling we might not be. I JUST got home from Portland and had a message from St. Johns to call because Dr. Kim wants another MRI. I called them and I have to go in tonight at 9. I asked what the deal is and the guy said that they want to scan my hip and get both sides. He said that if the other side looks like my right side, everything is fine, but if it's different, something is wrong. I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. And even worse, there was another message from Dr. Kim, but being that it's 8:15, I can't get ahold of him now until Monday. Please, please, PLEASE let this MRI be normal. Please let my left side look the same as whatever Dr. Kim is worried about. I'm feeling almost back to normal, I can't imagine having to go through everything again.

Before I got home, I was feeling pretty good about life. My appointment with Dr. Hayden went very well. He said I'm doing a great job at growing the bone in my femur (maybe that's why I've been so tired!?) and the scans today compared to the last time I saw him look so much better. The bone looks almost normal again. Last time it looked like it had a big hole in it!

Alright, time to go get ready for my MRI. Not looking forward to spending my Friday night with an IV in my arm and getting an MRI for over an hour. :(

Today I had my radiation planning. They had me lay on the table and they took x-rays, marked my leg where they'll be doing the radiation and took measurements of everything. I have to be in the exact position that I was in today every day when I go for radiation. I start on Monday at 3:50. I'll have to go everyday at that time for (hopefully only) 4 weeks. Should be interesting!

Yesterday I had an MRI. It was HORRIBLE! I ended up being in the tube for about 2 1/2 hours. They did the first series of pictures then they decided they needed more and then they had to pull me out and put an IV in for contrast shots. I didn't think I was going to be able to lay there. It was only supposed to be 40 minutes, but because they decided they needed more pictures, it ended up taking so much longer. Hopefully that's the last MRI I'll have to have! The dictation still hadn't been done for it when I went to my radiation planning appointment this morning. Hopefully the idiot who read my first MRI wont be reading this one! I still get mad just thinking about the fact that my first MRI was read wrong. If my pain had gone away, I would've been totally misdiagnosed! And being that my cancer is pretty fast-moving, who knows where it would've spread to. If anyone in Longview reading this ever has to have any type of imaging done, let me know and I'll tell you who read mine so you can request that he not read yours! :)

Tomorrow is my last appointment of the week. It's at OHSU with the orthopedic oncologist. I saw him after I fell and he wanted to see me again to take more x-rays and see how the fracture looks. I'm hoping that 1) he says I can do the 5K LIVESTRONG walk, 2) he OKs me to start using it more--like for exercising and 3) he gives me the OK to wear heels again. :)

Besides being really tired still, I'm feeling pretty good. The impetigo is even starting to go away! Thank goodness! I think that's been one of the most annoying things I've had to deal with throughout all of this!

The only thing I'm worried about right now is the fact that I've been having night sweats really bad. This was one of the things they always asked me right after I was diagnosed--it's a symptom/sign of lymphoma, but at the time, I hadn't experienced anything like that. I don't know why I would be now, but it scares me. Another thing is the fact that Dr. Kim looked at the MRI from yesterday and said he can still see the tumor. I thought it would be gone after all of the chemo. He said the difference between the first MRI and this one is like night and day, but still....I want it all gone. :(

Goodbye, Chemo. Hello, Radiation.

Chemo is officially OVER! They had me scheduled for chemo today just in case, but Dr. Nichols said no way. I'm done! And it feels oh-so-good. Mom, dad and Kim all went with me to my appointment. He said the chance of the cancer coming back ever again is slim-to-none. I truly feel like I lucked out. Getting cancer was far from lucking out, but I am so lucky to have caught it so early and to have gotten such a curable type. Now it's on to radiation. I'll be doing that in Longview since it will be everyday for 4-6 weeks. I have an appointment with the radiation doctor tomorrow morning at 10:30. I think it's just to talk about the plan of attack and decide when it needs to be started. I have my next CT scan on Tuesday, so we'll get to see my beautiful femur WITHOUT a huge tumor! Dr. Nichols said it might be hard to see how much of it is gone because my bone is broken and it's still in the healing process. However, I have no doubt that the chemo kicked my cancers butt. Just the fact that I have no pain and I'm able to walk again is a pretty good indication.

After our appointment with Dr. Nichols I had to go to see a dermatologist about my arm. It's developed into a horrible infection and it's making me miserable. I wake up constantly during the night, it burns, it's ooozing...it's nasty. They originally thought it was shingles, but turns out it's not. The dermatologist said I have impetigo, a bacterial skin infection. He put me on antibiotics, so hopefully it clears up soon.

I got an e-mail today about the LIVESTRONG Challenge. It's a 5K walk/run on June 29 in Portland. I really want to do it. Obviously I wont be running, but I think I could manage the walk. I think I'm going to start a team, so if you're interested in doing it with me, let me know!

Lots has happened since I last wrote. I turned 25, my car insurance is now $300 cheaper a year because I turned 25, Joe and I went to LA, Joe turned 25 yesterday, and most importantly, they took my PICC line out today!!!

My birthday was low-key but good. We all went out to dinner and I got some pretty cool gifts including new earrings, a super cute Coach hat from Kim & George and my favorite thing, a day at the spa from Joe.

Joe and I ended up being able to go to LA, despite the fact I wasn't feeling very good. We had a blast! We also ended up going to San Diego on Saturday. We got back last night around 11. We stayed near LAX so we drove around Loyola Marymount, where I went to school my freshman year. It's hard to believe it's been six years since I lived down there! It was fun to reminisce and drive around campus. I wanted to walk around, but we happened to pick a very bad day: graduation. We could barley even drive around! LA is fun, but I wouldn't ever want to live down there again. It's crazy! Traffic, people everywhere....I would go crazy having to put up with that everyday. Joe's birthday was yesterday. We slept in, hung out in the sun and had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory in Marina del Rey before our flight left. I'm so glad we were able to still go, it was a much needed getaway for the two of us.

I was feeling pretty crappy last week but I'm not sure if it was from chemo or from having shingles or both. I've developed a horrible scary looking rash/grossness on my arm where my PICC line was. I had to go have them look at it today and they decided it was ok to take it out. I don't have tubes hanging out of my arm anymore! My arm is pretty infected though. It's dripping puss. It's so disgusting, not to mention miserable. It's swollen, it burns....I think it's a good thing they took it out. I think the bandages were irritating everything even more. I just hope the grossness goes away soon....I want to be able to wear short sleeves!

I have my next appointment with Dr. Nichols on Wednesday morning. Hopefully all goes well and we can start radiation within the next few weeks. I'm so ready for all of this to be over and done with! I have my next appointment with Dr. Hayden, the orthopedic oncologist at OHSU, next Friday the 30. Hopefully he'll say I'm good to go and can start exercising again. And wear heels again! I had heels on today but Joe caught me and made me put on my running shoes before I went to work... :(

Alright, that's my update. I'll post pictures from our trip eventually. I just don't have the energy now. The littlest tasks seem so huge to me nowadays. Yet another great side effect of chemo!

Oh yeah, one more thing. I love being bald. I just put on my wig (or hat) and go! I almost get ready as fast as Joe now! :)

Just call me Auntie Katie!

That's right...I'm going to be an aunt! Kim and George surprised us yesterday with the news that they're expecting! It's still early, she's only a little over four weeks along, but we're all SO excited! They had the coolest way of telling everyone. We were all down in Vancouver at their house for Mother's Day brunch and all of us and the DeCarlo's were there. She brought out two presents for the moms and told them to open them at the same time. Inside was a frame. One side had a picture of the embryo (she had to do IVF), and the other side was a poem that Kim wrote. It started with "Dear Grandma..." It was SO exciting! Everyone was yelling, crying, running around. We all thought she found out today if she was pregnant, so they did a really good job of hiding it. I'm going to be an aunt!! The due date is January 13. YAY! I can't imagine how exciting and emotional it will be to see that baby for the first time. They (and all of us) have waited for this for so long!

Unfortunately, during all of this excitement, I because the party puker. I was so sick. I couldn't keep anything down, not even water to take my anti-nausea meds. I had to call the on-call doctor and he told me to go to the ER. So that's where we went when we got home. We drove straight to St. John's and I was there until about 11. They had to give me meds through an IV and hydrate me. I feel like I've been hit by a truck today and I'm scared to death to try to drink/eat anything for fear that I'll start puking again. I don't understand why this is happening! Hopefully it doesn't happen at work today. I really need to make it at least 1/2 day.

Alright, just wanted to share the exciting news! I'll post pictures later. I don't have enough energy to do it right now! I can't wait to meet Baby DeCarlo!

Paranoid...

...about spelling words wrong on here! My dad just pointed out that I spelled "brake" break. So now I feel really stupid, especially since spelling words wrong is one of my biggest pet peeves! From here on out, please excuse any words that aren't spelled right...I really blame it on the chemo!

That's all. Apparently I need to consult with my editors (Dad, Kim) before I write more. :)

Yay!

I passed my driving test today! And as you can see, with a 96%! I would've gotten 100% but I forgot to put the parking brake on when I parked on the hill. Whoops. Anyway, thank goodness I passed. And shame on them for making me take it because I have cancer!

Chemo graduation day!

Today is my last day of chemo! We just met with Dr.Nichols and now I'm starting my last long day of chemo in the infusion room. Today I'm locked up in my own private room...I have shingles!! I've had a rash but didn't think much of it but it's shingles. Dang it! I think he thought it might be chicken pox (I've never had them before) but it's only on my arm. I have to take antibiotics five times a day for it.

Just another little bump in the road, not a huge deal! My wish today is that this last treatment doesn't make my eyebrows/eyelashes fall out. I haven't lost any so far! The picture below is me waiting to get hooked up to start chemo. I don't feel like I stick out like a sore thumb when I go hat-less here! My dad thinks I look like him when he was younger, and my mom gets upset when I don't have a hat/wig on. She said it's really reality to see me without hair. I like it though! I save SO much time in the morning!! I'll probably be sad when my hair grows back! Anyway, I hate being isolated in this room! I love to be out and visiting with all of the nurses/patients. Check out that beautiful quilt! Thanks, Judie...I love it!

Almost done!

Unless my PET scan doesn't come back normal next week, my LAST chemo is Wednesday! I'm so excited, yet scared at the same time. For the last few months I've been monitored constantly. I feel like after Wednesday it wont be that way, I'll be done and let free. It's a scary feeling! I have to be at Providence at 8:30 on Wednesday. I'll meet with Dr. Nichols before chemo to figure out the next steps. He probably wont be certain until after my scans come back but as far as we know, I'll have about a three week break and then I'll start radiation. Radiation will be everyday for 4-6 weeks. This experience has definitely me a stronger person. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd be spending my 25th birthday recuperating from a chemo treatment. I guess that goes to show how fast your life can change. Enjoy every minute of it!

Joe and I had an awesome weekend! On Friday we went for dinner with Jenny and Casey and on Saturday morning we drove to Tacoma and spent the rest of the weekend with his family. We also celebrated his best friend Nick's birthday Saturday night. It was so good to get to see so many people in such a short amount of time!

Besides being totally exhausted, I've been feeling pretty good lately. No sicky chemo side-effects and the cold or allergies or whatever I had seems to be gone, so it's been nice. Hopefully I have a couple more good days. Last chemo I started feeling bad on the way home....hopefully it wont happen so fast this time around! My biggest frustration right now is my lack of energy. I slept from 1:30-4:30 this afternoon and again from 9:30-midnight. I do good at work until about 1. I haven't been able to make it longer than that yet. It's torture! Another thing that's driving me crazy is my short-term memory. It's gone! It's so weird! They mentioned "chemo brain" and troubles with short-term memory, but for some reason I didn't think it would happen to me. Ya right! It's horrible. I'll be talking and totally forget what I was going to say! Hopefully this is just temporary!

Alright, time to go back to bed. I woke up with my leg hurting and then I started thinking about chemo on Wednesday and couldn't go back to sleep. I get freaked out when I have leg pain. Hopefully it's the chemo kickin' the cancers butt and not the other way around. I'm dreading chemo this time more than the first two. It's so hard to go get injected with poison for 6 hours knowing how it makes me feel, especially when I feel so good right now.

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

livestrong.org

I've become a big fan of Lance Armstrong throughout all of this cancer stuff. And not just because he was treated by my doctor...and not because he's smokin' hot. :) It's because of his LIVESTRONG foundation. I wear my yellow bracelet everyday and live by those words. Getting through this has so much to do with attitude, having a bright yellow bracelet just keeps me on track when I start to get bummed out or I'm having a day where I don't think I can take it anymore.

A few weeks ago I was looking on the livestrong.org website and found the Survivor Notebook. I thought it was pretty cool...it has a section to keep track of health records, a health journal, place to keep important papers, etc. I thought it was even cooler when I realized it was free! I ordered it, only having to pay for shipping, and it came today. I'm pretty excited about it! They even sent me two packages of wrist bands!

I like to talk about these things just in case any other cancer patients stumble across my blog...I've learned a lot from reading other patient stories, so hopefully this blog can be something more than just me complaining about feeling crappy!

I was able to work (from work) Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I was just too miserable to go today though. I've been fighting a cold (or allergies?), but today it got the best of me and I'm afraid to report I think it's going to my chest. I feel like it's hard to breathe. My blood counts are extremely low right now, so I have to be so careful I'm not exposed to anything. I just hope this doesn't turn into anything more. I've been miserable for a week now! I want this to be better before I get attacked with chemo again next week!

Speaking of chemo, my LAST (crossing my fingers) chemo is next Wednesday!!! Let the countdown begin! I can't wait for this be be over with. I'm even more excited for my PICC line to be out. I woke up yesterday with imprints on my face from the stupid tubes!

Those little white things are what made the marks on my face. Those are also what they use to plug me in. When Joe saw it he said it looked "wicked." I agree. I still can't look at it. I have to have it covered up at all times.

Alright, time to go get ready for The Office. This is our favorite show. It it weren't for Michael Scott, I would think ESPN is the only channel we get. That's the only thing that is ever on in our household. Joe is obsessed. Maybe that's why I love The Office so much!

The new me

I did it! My hair is gone! Actually it's 1/8" long. I couldn't stand it falling out any longer. And I must say, it feels pretty good! So much better than having hair everywhere. PALS was closed so we made an emergency trip to Great Clips. I figured they couldn't screw anything up....I wanted it all gone anyway! Now I wont have to use the lint roller when I get out of bed tomorrow morning! Here's the pictures Joe took...
I went to the airport with my mom to pick up my dad on Sunday and he hadn't seen my super short hair. I wasn't wearing a wig, I was just rocking my man-do. When he saw me he said, "I didn't know I had a son!" Since I think I look like a guy, he decided they should give me a guy name. He came up with Toby. So him and Joe call me Toby. Good thing I have a sense of humor about all of this!

On a side note, I crack up everytime I look at the Google ads at the bottom of this. Since I've been talking about losing my hair, all of the ads have been how to fix hair loss. If only that would work for me!!

Update

Hello! Just thought I should give an update and let everyone who reads my blog know that I'm still alive and kickin'. I've had a really bad cold so I haven't been feeling good at all. Just what I need on top of all the chemo side effects! I worked today and yesterday, but by the time I get home I'm totally wiped out. As soon as I get home I fall asleep. Today was a short nap...only about 2 1/2 hours. ;) One of the things I'm looking forward to most is getting my energy back!

My hair is still falling out. Today has been a very bad hair day. I don't know how much longer I can handle it! I wasn't going to shave it because so many people have told me that it's more likely to grow back the way it was if you just let it fall out, but it's everywhere and it's driving me crazy. Especially when it gets down my shirt! I think we might shave it after dinner tonight. I would let it just do it's thing, but since I still have more chemo, I'm pretty sure it's just going to continue to fall out. Awesome.

Alright, that's all I have to say. I've been reading other blogs of people who have cancer and after reading them I feel selfish making a big deal out of this. My story is nothing compared to some of the others I've read.

Happy Birthday, Dad!!

Just a quick post to wish my dad a happy birthday! Dad, thank you for being so supportive and such a wonderful dad. You're the best! We wish you didn't have to spend your big day in Amsterdam, but at least you'll be back home tomorrow! We love you!

Happy Friday!

Although I haven't been feeling the greatest, the weeks are still flying by. How can it possibly be the end of April!? Usually I wish that time would slow down, but I am SO happy that it's going so fast right now. My last treatment is on May 7th! That's so close! My chemo has been brutal, but I'm so glad that I'll be done soon...I can't imagine having to go through this a day longer than I have to!

I worked five hours today! Not a full day, but a big accomplishment for me. As soon as I got home I passed out though...I just woke up! I felt pretty good all morning except for one little sick episode. I didn't actually get sick, I just thought I was. These moments happen so fast and it's almost like they paralyze me. I can't talk, can't move....and if I think about the wrong thing, I actually do get sick. It's torture! Luckily Leona was going to the store and stopped by to see if I needed anything and I asked her to get me a diet 7-up. I think that helped, but it took awhile.

I have to go to urgent care tonight at 6:30. My ears hurt so bad. I thought maybe it was another nasty side effect, but the nurses in Portland didn't seem to think so. Hopefully I don't have ear infections...or strep throat. My throat hurts, too. Please let it just be allergies!

Hope everyone has a good weekend! It's supposed to be sunny and warm tomorrow in Longview! Hopefully the sun comes through for us. We deserve it!

It's still falling out...

Morning! I thought cutting my hair super short would make it seem like it was falling out at a slower rate. Not the case! It's still falling out very fast. Just touching it makes it fall out. I guess this butch cut will only be temporary after all. Looks like I'll be going completely bald!

I'm going to work this morning. I'm going to wear my hat. It screams out that I have cancer, but oh-well. I do have cancer, so why should I hide from it? And besides, my head is freezing! I didn't realize how much warmth all that hair I had provided!

We'll see how long I'm able to make it this morning. I slept all night, but I'm not feeling good. Joe is making breakfast and I can barley stand the smell of it. I can't eat this morning and I feel nauseous after taking my anti-nausea medicine. My ears and throat are hurting pretty badly this morning, too. Hopefully that's just allergies. Having a sore throat and no appetite make it even harder to eat though!

I made it to cancer class last night. I wasn't able to make it to last weeks class, so I was glad I was able to go, especially since it was the last class. Last night was survivor night. People that have gone through chemo/radiation and are back to normal came to talk about their experience. It's amazing how differently people react to chemo. One guy said he only got nauseous three times....and he ate enough for three people. He said he was constantly stuffing his face. Then another lady said that the was the exact opposite. She couldn't eat, she was exhausted...that's definitely how I'm feeling. The cancer class teacher said that younger people tend to have harsher reactions to chemo. It seems like it would be the exact opposite! She also said that the treatment I'm getting is very strong stuff, so my symptoms are worse.

Ok, here's the picture...

Ok, my mom wanted me to put a picture up so here goes. Hopefully you aren't as scared as I was when I saw it! The blob on my lap was Allie. She didn't want to show her face.

It's gone!

Well, my hair is gone. Actually, it's not totally gone, I just look like a guy. Seriously, I feel like my hair is just about as short as Joe's! I went to get it washed this morning at PALS, but we decided it would be best to just cut it super short since so much of it was falling out. So here I am, looking like a guy. When I look at myself I just laugh. Crying wont do much good, so I might as well laugh about it.

I'm not quite brave enough to show a picture yet...it's still pretty shocking, but perhaps I'll get the courage to do it later today or tomorrow. We'll see.

I've been feeling pretty crappy today. I've been staying on top of my anti-nausea medicines, but I still feel that feeling like at any moment I might throw up. And I'm absolutely exhausted. Even though I slept 10+ hours last night. Have I mentioned how excited I am for this to be over with?!

Thanks to Alan, Brenda and Jeannie at PALS for the complimentary butch cut. :) And again, to everyone else, thanks for the continued support, prayers, e-mails, cards (nothing like getting REAL mail!), flowers, food, and everything else. I'm just so amazed by all of it. I've written more thank you notes than I can even count! The other day Joe stopped me and said, "You don't need to send thank you notes to people who send cards, Katie." So I haven't been doing that...but please know that it means the world to me!

Bye bye hair

Ok, this is getting to be ridiculous. If I even just run my fingers through my hair I come out with huge clumps. However, because I have sooo much hair, you still can't even tell. It's amazing. You should see all the hair we've had to sweep/roll/vacuum up! It's disgusting! But like Joe says, at least we know the chemo is working!

Anyway, I'm to the point where I can't wash and dry it by myself, so I'm going into PALS tomorrow to get it done. I'll let her determine whether it's worth saving. I have a feeling as soon as the heat from the blow dryer hits it, it will be gone. We shall see. I better enjoy my potentially last night with hair! I just have to remember not to touch it. And I have to stay away from food...it gets into everything. I already don't have an appetite, having a mouth full of hair in my food doesn't help! I might as well just do the damn thing and have her shave it. It just seems so cold! And I don't think it will grow back very fast. What if I have to wear a wig to my
wedding?! :(

As I write this, other than feeling totally exhausted and nauseous, I'm feeling OK. I slept a lot today. I went to bed at 10, woke up briefly at 8 to take some meds, slept till 11 then slept all the way to Portland. And yet I'm still exhausted. I can't wait to have energy back again! We had to go down to Portland to get my white blood cell booster shot, so hopefully that works. I can't imagine getting sick on top of all the chemo side effects! I haven't been able to eat much today. Just a small cup of soup. I think for dinner I'll have a junior frosty from Wendy's. That's the only thing that sounds good. Healthy, huh?! Oh well, at least it has lots of sugar, fat and calories. Haha, exactly what I don't need!